If I Stay - Gayle Forman

Gayle Forman tells the story of seventeen-year old Cello prodigy Mia, who survives a car crash in which the rest of her family is killed. The premise of the book is that, sometimes when we are hovering between life and death, we can chose whether we stay or go. 

I did enjoy this book and it made me cry, but that’s really not unusual. At the best of times, I can be overly emotionally susceptible to films and books, so pregnancy hormones are probably making me twice as bad. I thought the writing was good, well paced and the flashback scenes tied in well with Mia’s current situation of finding herself in limbo, watching over her battered body and grieving relatives and friends and deciding whether or not she can bear to live without her immediate family.

However, a few things irked me about Mia’s relationships. Her parents seemed just that bit too cool and perfect. Mia is a teenager and yet not one flashback recalls a tense moment between her and her parents. Whilst I understand that the purpose of the flashbacks is to highlight how much she has lost, it sometimes felt unrealistic to me. There was no teenage angst, no rebellion, no mention of her finding her parents embarrassing at any time (even though her dad dresses exclusively in 50s suits and bowties and her mum is extremely opinionated and hot headed). She gets on perfectly with her much younger brother and, to be perfectly honest, I found their interactions cloyingly sweet at times.

Crucially, I never quite brought into Adam and Mia as a couple. Their ‘tough times’ are what any teenage couple might go through – one going to this university, the other going to another. What happens when we go our separate ways? Will our love transcend distance and the novelty of uni? Nothing new here. Interestingly, Adam was the one that seemed most affected by this thought, not Mia. Whilst I do think teenagers are often underestimated in their capacity for treating love with respect and wisdom, Mia and Adam just didn’t gel for me.

In fact, Mia was sometimes quite detached from what was happening in her life. I would have liked to have read more about her grief at losing her family – I didn’t feel like Forman emphasised this enough. Mia never wonders about whether she will still even be able to play the cello should she decide to stay. I kept expecting her to overhear one of the doctors speculating over whether this would be a possibility for her, or even for one of her visitors to bring this issue up. As music seemed to be such an integral part of her life, and indeed the book, I felt this was quite a large omission from the story. It certainly would have made her decision that much more difficult to make if it transpired that she may not be able to play the cello ever again.

I also felt that perhaps not enough of her personality came through. She is supposed to have a dry sense of humour but that was only shown a couple of times. As people often deal with extreme situations with humour, I thought perhaps Forman missed an opportunity for the reader to engage with Mia a little more. Humour could have been used to bring Kim to life too – she is supposed to be the best friend, but seemed much more of a minor character. I barely remember much about her except that she has untameable hair and is Jewish.

So, I realise that, at the beginning of this review, I did mention that I enjoyed this book and yet I seem to have spent four paragraphs eviscerating it. I really liked the theme of music that ran through the book. The idea that music bonds people and has the ability to bring people together really resonates with me. Forman could have been overly dramatic and emotionally manipulative but I thought her writing was clean and unfettered. The flashbacks of Mia’s life were well constructed and flowed pretty seamlessly with the current time line. Adam’s speech at the end of the book was pitched just right – my tears were shed here – it was an emotional moment, not unexpected but not at all overdone.

I loved Gramps – he was the character that really stood out for me. Probably quite a stereotypical Grandfather but stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason, right? I thought he was really well developed, a very likeable character who showed a tremendous amount of empathy and strength.

So, would I recommend this book? Yes, I think I would. I would class it as a light read, despite the subject matter. It’s not a long book, but it does pose an interesting question and some of the scenes are really quite powerful. Given that it’s marketed as YA, I would give it a 7/10 rating.

Next up? Not sure – hope to get another book through from Transworld soon…

like reading... or writing. But definitely not staring at my stomach waiting for the baby to move.

How exciting - my first book for this challenge arrived today, If I Stay by Gayle Forman. Having read the blurb and the cover reviews, I am really looking forward to reading it. Yesterday, I watched The Lovely Bones and this is supposed to be very much in the vein of that book. I really hope I'm not disappointed. I have found that, lately, I have picked up books and anticipated a really good read only to finish them feeling a little cheated. The blurb and the cover promised an exciting, thought-provoking, interesting read but the reality was much different.

One book that definitely did not leave me feeling this way was The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins. Fantastic. I read it in a day - eating my breakfast, delaying my lunch. I was completely captivated by the world she had created, the characters and their lives, the concept of a government controlling it's people by holding annual games whose end result was a child victor who had, in all likelihood, killed other children in a primal quest for survival. I cannot wait to read the next book in this trilogy - at the end of this book, I actually said out loud, 'No. No, no, it can't end there.' Such disappointment - but in a very good way.

Anyway, I digress from the Summer Reading Challenge - the other three books on my list are:

After You - Julie Buxbaum
Lockdown - Sean Black
Prep - Curtis Sittenfeld

I will aim to get If I Stay read and reviewed by the end of next weekend, however I do have quite a reading/writing list to be getting on with. Critiquing a friend's book, reading my book group book in time for meeting two weeks today, redrafting my own book (again), reading library book due back on Friday (I should probably start reading it. Or renew it at least).

Oh, and a recommendation  - the Into the Wild soundtrack is amazing. I can't believe it's taken me such a long time to get round to buying it. I love it. And I think the baby rather likes it too. Eddie Vedder is genius - if you like the slower, more acoustic Pearl Jam stuff, you should give this a go. Incidentally, the film is rather good too and I bet the book is outstanding. But I really don't have time to add this to my reading list too. Do I?

How many things can I not do?

Well, it's my fourth day of unemployment and I had expected to be much more productive than I have been. I had a bunch of craft/sewing projects that I had intended on starting and finishing this week, but I haven't got round to any of them. By the way, I am not some domestic goddess, whipping up curtains and dresses every afternoon - these are easy-to-do, made-necessary-by-lack-of-job, time filling projects like making cushion covers (without zips, I hasten to add - way too labour-intensive and skill-requiring) and covering kitchen chairs.

Really, I should be redrafting my novel (for what feels like the 8,975,546th time but is only the 3rd). I do have a deadline of the end of August but, in reality, I would like to get this third draft done by the end of July so that I can redraft again if necessary (who am I kidding? It WILL be necessary) before submitting it to the RNA New Writers' Scheme before the very end of August.

Of course, this situation I find myself in was not what I had intended when I joined the NWS in January (although, honestly? Not entirely unexpected). Then, I had grand visions of getting it polished enough to submit by June, smug that I had one finished manuscript being critiqued and could get on with number two. Number two?!? Well, I have an idea for a second book, but I wonder if I should really be starting a second novel when I'm not even happy with the first.

I am hoping my volunteer, pretend potential agents/editors (big thanks to you all) will help me out with making it better, telling me what's good, what's dire, what makes absolutely no sense. It's a lot to ask of people really. Complete honesty but delivered kindly, in such a way so as not to completely devastate but to help, to encourage, to make it good. Good enough to get published - now there's a tall order.

Another tall order is trying to get a maternity bra that fits properly but isn't completely unattractive and ridiculously expensive - this is probably harder to achieve than getting published... but that's another blog entirely.

The last few days of work

I've decided, having read a few reading blogs lately, that I could assist my plan to expand my reading horizons with a few well chosen challenges for the year. The first one I've looked at is the Colourful Reading Challenge courtesy of http://imlostinbooks.blogspot.com/2009/11/colorful-reading-challenge-2010.html.

Now, this does run from Jan to Dec, so I am super challenging myself but I think it can be done. Here's my probable list:

*Indigo - Alice Hoffman
*Bitter is the New Black - Jen Lancaster
*White Fang - Jack London
*Lemon Tart - Josi S Kilpack
*The Secret History of the Pink Carnation - Lauren Willig
*Ruby - Ann Hood
*Blue Bloods - Melissa de la Cruz
*Blood Orange - Drusilla Campbell
*Green Mansions - W H Hudson

Of course, these may change along the way - already I am thinking I should read A Clockwork Orange and The Woman in White. Plus, it depends on what my library is carrying...

Certainly, if this round ligament pain keeps going like it is, I won't even have the four months I am counting on to complete this challenge. Treatment involves me lying on my left hand side with a heat pad on my right side - not very conducive to reading. Very good for watching tv though! Sadly, all my programmes seem to be coming to an end - Fringe and 24 have already finished as has 90210. Brothers and Sisters finishes next week. Luckily, Private Practice has just returned to the UK small screen and there is some way to go before Greys Anatomy ends for this season. I'm not sure if it's even worth finding something else to watch. Apparently, I will have no time for such frivolities as watching tv once the baby arrives. I don't know that this will be quite true... I guess I'll find out in about 20 weeks!

Like helping to self assemble furniture

In light of the fact that later this year, we will be sharing our teeny tiny house with a baby, we are rearranging our bedroom and the spare room/office/wardrobe. To this end, we've purchased two low level chest of drawers to act as bedside tables and storage all-in-one. This means we can transfer clothes from the spare room/office/wardrobe into our room and thus create space for a cotbed. Genius.

Honestly, I didn't stop to think about how exactly we would fit all the accessories required for such a small addition in our home. Stuff like a play mat and bouncy chair, which all mothers I know have told me are a necessity. When we finally decided to have a family, nobody told me that our car would be too old for ISOFIX car seats or that a baby shouldn't be in a car seat for more than two hours. That puts paid to Devonshire weekends to visit the in-laws then...

Luckily, I do have lots of people (mothers mainly) on hand for advice - some wanted, some definitely unwanted. My cousin is studying to be a doula and has had two children in the last few years. The offer of books and maternity clothes has been greatly received. Plus, as our mothers are sisters and unrelentingly similar (read bossy and domineering - I do love them both dearly though) - she has been through everything I am/will be experiencing with regards to 'helpful' advice and a complete disregard (and disdain) for any modern thoughts and theories on child rearing.

Anyway, aside from wishing the weeks away so that I can meet our baby, I have been doing quite a lot of reading - thanks to recently joining a book group (the newest group to be run by the independent bookstore in Abingdon, the wonderful Mostly Books) in a bid to expand my reading horizons and steer me away from light-hearted and entertaining romantic comedies. Not that I want to become a literary snob, that will never be me. However, as all my television watching consists of American programmes such as 24, Desperate Housewives and even 90210 (yes, I haven't been a teenager for over a decade but I do quite enjoy the ridiculous characters and frivolous plot lines), I feel I should step it up with my reading and I'm very glad I have.

I quite liked the first book we read, 'The Girl with Glass Feet' by Ali Shaw. The second book I didn't like at all - 'Brooklyn' by Colm Toibin. I couldn't relate to the very repressed main character and her seemingly total lack of feelings for anything. The third book I didn't read as I was going to be away for that particular meeting and the fourth book, 'Silk' by Alessandro Barico, I absolutely loved. Beautifully sparse and yet moving. I felt a real affinity with the Japanese concubine, even though you never learn her name and she never speaks. I would recommend this book to everyone - if you don't like it, then you've only wasted about an hour and a half of your life (it's a very slim book - more of a novella really).

I do also have Slash's autobiography on my 'waiting to read' bookshelf - I've been putting it off as it's rather large, but I think I might have to start tackling it soon having watched one of the 'I'm in a Rock Band' programmes the other day. It made me think about how boring the rock scene is these days - all recovering alcoholics and married fathers of two studiously learning a second language on the tour bus. Oh for the antics of Tommy Lee and Ozzy Osbourne!

These days, we seem to only have young starlets and It girls to live vicariously through. Going out knickerless in very short skirts or having (rather tame) sex tapes 'leaked' rather pales in comparison to driving Bentleys into swimming pools or deliberately setting fire to hotel room doors using hairspray and a lighter. Bring back proper old fashioned, decadent hell raising, I say. Well, at least until my unborn child reaches those perilous and easily influenced teenage years anyway.

Like working...

But, really, why would I do that? The sun is shining, I am pretty much up to date work-wise and, quite frankly, I just don't feel inclined to dredge up something so that I can pretend to be busy.

So, a little bit about myself is required I suppose. I live in Oxfordshire with my husband and no dogs. My day job is a run of the mill office job but my dream is to be a writer. I have a finished novel, which I am currently editing, and am a co-founder of the Abingdon Writers.

The Abingdon Writers are a wonderful group of aspiring writers who critique each others' work - I am always astounded by their insightful comments and suggestions and, more often than not, feel more than a little humbled by the quality of writing they produce. I write romantic comedy so can feel a little inferior in amongst the contemporary and historical writers. Still, it's all good practice for the reams of rejections that will come my way when I'm finally brave enough to send my work out to agents.

So, when I say I'll be procrastinating here - it will mostly be from work or from writing/editing. And from something else, but more about that tomorrow maybe.